1)hanging out with Sabrina (babe, i really hope u are doing gd and im so glad we finally caught up a little =D but i miss meeting u and having long chats with u + all our advising n bitching n gossiping n remembering pri sch days n retardedly fun stuff that we say n do tgt ;C )
2)hanging out with Siti,Mon,Yk,Sooks,Izzah. i know we just talked ytd, but the talk barely scratched the surface of what we usually talk about. i miss the times that we go crazy and the times that we get all serious n talk. talk. talk. im missing u guys n i hope u know it.
3)heart-to-heart chill outs with my babes:Angel&Jacq. hey u two, im missing u guys alot! seriously. i guess i never really thought of how much missing i was gonna hve to do and go through when im here. yeah i've got my own life now in melb, but i still feel lost without u guys. i miss the heart-to-hearts that we have at least once a week n all. truthfully, i feel kinda lost now. i dont really really know what is going on in yr lives n all. n angel u blogged bout needing us, well i need u two too. u two can still meet up n tell me about it, but its not the same when i know im not there. (fck im actually crying now, u guys better be touched!) n Kat (; the lovely who visits me when im working n stays to chat n brings me snacks! <3
4) Her. yeah i said her. its not a lesbian crush her-kinda-thing. but i miss Her. the one that i used to be closed with but for some reason our fship became fcked up TTM. i regret not acting fast to salvage the fship, but wdv, if we can actually lose that bond just like that cause of another friend. then fck the whole thing. like seriously. but i can honestly say i miss her and wish we were as close as b4.
5) Ziai & Sher. I miss hanging out with them. And i miss being able to frequently call up Ziai just to bitch n talk n hear bout her jc stuff n shit. n i miss her coming over to my hse to study n all. Yes n i also miss her constant nagging n scolding n threats that MOTIVATES me to study n do well. LIM ZI AI I FCKING MISS U ALOT LA!! Sher I MISS U TOO! we have a whole lotta catching up to do.
6)my family. my support. my comfort. my everything.
7)GUYS! although i miss the guys im close with, its not as bad maybe because i seriously talk to them a whole lot more than the girls. dont ask me why but its just this way. i catch up with the guys more than the girls threfore i dont feel the awkward weird drift.
I dunno why im suddenly feeling so emo, just writing this post is making me tear up. am i homesick? is that it? im suddenly missing HELLA WHOLE LOT of the people back in singapore along with my family. i mean i've made frens here whom i hang out with everyday n talk about lotsa things + thre's sarah. but i guess im missing the people whom i've known more than just a few months. im missing the people that i've known all my life(family), my sec sch cliques, angel&jacq and SAB! i know its normal to get a little teary once in awhile, but why today? and the rain isnt helping either. its making it a more emo day. and all of u who knows me knows that i am like the MOST UN-EMO PERSON EVER! i can count my emo days with 1 hand. n its not even full yet. wth is happening? i guess im really missing the past huh.
N i have to admit, no matter what, no matter how close we are/were. we have drifted. i know i cant not expect to drift. but to know that we were all once so close and to suddenly feel the huge drift, it really really sucks TTM u know. i mean u guys wont feel it as much cause its like u miss 1 person(if at all im missed since u guys are so busy i guess), but for me, im aching inside as i have to miss so many times more people that are physically away n not here with me.
Fck.Fck.Fck. I hope this will be one of the rare moments that i feel this way n spill my heart out. the feeling really suck balls. but looking back AGAIN, i feel old now. more grown up and 4years ago i would never have thought that i could be n think like what i can now. i know this post is long,screwed n confusing. that's cause my thoughts are getting all messed up. these are my rants. i've ranted until im actually mentally exhausted now. i've let it all flow out n poured my heart out in this post. yeah it helps typing it out, but will it actually change anything? i mean there's still somemore months b4 i go back, therefore it'll mean more drifting. n that means A HUGE FCKING DRIFT-ed SPACE when i go back. will things be the same? u know n i know that it wont. n now i think i know how she feels when she went back, afraid. afraid of the unknown. the unexpected. i dont know what to expect in dec. n yeah i admit, im scared alright. i just hope that things will go smoothly (:
now on a lighter note, partay at EK's hse tonite. he msged the grp n all already and so we'll be getting food, drinks n whatnots to have a blast tonite. shud be staying over n tonning. movie marathon n grp games n drinking games as well. yeah that'll cheer me up and numb the feeling (; sadly kelly,justin n zach are away n wont be with us. but oh well. sucks for them xD
